That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
