lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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