ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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