I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
