the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize