Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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