Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
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I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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