I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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