bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
