I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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