dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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