If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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