And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
