Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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