bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
