watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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