Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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