Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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