If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
