This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
