Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
