these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
