my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize