$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
