i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
