I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize