I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
