Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
