I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
