I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize