dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
