shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
This girl is more easily done than said...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
