Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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