I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
