# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
