I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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