my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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