I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
