on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
