So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
There's always time for handjobs
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
