The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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