So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
