Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
