actually, I'm a sock model
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
