That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The Olympian is in my bed
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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