I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
