I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
