there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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