Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
