It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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