I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
