Will you blow on my dice?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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