The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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