who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize