tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
sarcasm needs its own font
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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