and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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