Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
