pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
