we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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