just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
