is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
