Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
