So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
