The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize