Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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