I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
