i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
