shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
