You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Shame - the story of my life.
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