Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
