i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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