What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think my vagina is haunted
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
