hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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