I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Drunk is not a location!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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