you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
