he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
